Tag Archives: Purpose

Rules of Engagement Make Men Cry pt.2

If you missed the first part of this blog please go here and read first to ensure that you have the proper context for this post.  As with scripture sometimes having the proper context when reading really plays a part in our ability to understand the writing.

So, my first question has to be:  Did you answer the questions?  And did you ask your spouse to provide her insight?  I feel it only right that if I am going to write these words that I expose my own failures and sins so to be honest I asked the questions and felt confident that I was right as to what she would say.  I knew that she was in Ephesians during her quiet time.  I stated it confidently and a little pridefully.  I was WRONG!  It was James,  so don’t feel bad if you were not on the side of the questions that you wanted to be or hoped that you would be.  The point is to take an assessment so that afterwards a plan of attack can be designed and then implemented.

And that is where we are now.  What should that plan look like?  Well to be honest I can’t tell you that here specifically because I believe that it is going to be different for every home in the logistics and actions.  But what I can give you is what the Holy Spirit gave me as a guide and a few that I got from guys like MacArthur, Piper, Grudem, Chandler, Chan, Jarmon, & Harrison (That is Phil, not Tyler).

I believe before we discuss the guide that we must set an understood baseline for our topic.  Meaning there are several truths that are transcendent in regards to your home, personality, number of children, background, etc.  The first is this:  You must be a man of the Word.  You may ask well that sounds great but what does that mean?  It means that you are diligently and almost as a man in the desert would drink water studying the Word.  Not as a chore or as in a ritual but out of pure desire and need.  I have reached a place in my walk that if I do not read my Bible in the morning and have that time with God I will struggle throughout the day with my whole day.  And that is not to say there aren’t struggles in the days that I do read.  But the way that I address those struggles, my clarity and insight into God’s direction for those struggles, my attitude during and after those struggles bare direct correlation to my closeness to the Word.  The way that I address my Wife, children, and co-workers all have a direct correlation to that time that I spend in the morning.

The second is this:  You must be a man of Action. There is no place in God’s Kingdom work for lazy and unmotivated husbands and dads.  Now keep perspective that you may work 15 hour days and still be a lazy husband and dad.

Now, hold tight and get ready for the Rules of Engagement.  Before I give them to you I want to give an easy generic definition of what those are for those that were not in the military.  The Rules of Engagement are the guidelines that are given to all troops when they go into a battlefield that outlines what conduct is acceptable, required, and expected.

Here are the official ITG Rules of Engagement:

1.  We must be men that develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle.
This means you must understand that life is short and that Heaven and Hell hang in the balance for your family.  That the love of your job, money, hunting, sports, cars, etc. is spiritual suicide for your family.

2.  We as husbands must love our wife the way that scripture instructs: “As Christ loved the Church”.
This means being sacrificial of our wants, desires, time, money and life.  This requires us to be humble, upbuilding, self-denying, and a happy willing spiritual leader.  All of these require that we are constantly growing in our knowledge of God and willing to cultivate a continual conversation so that we can show tenderness and strength to our helper.  And finally that we accept the responsibility of protection and provision for our families.

3.  We as men must accept that we have the primary responsibility to raise up children that are disciplined not only in life but most importantly in the Word.
We should develop a method of life that does not depend on the church or the schools to impart wisdom to our children.  Remember that you children are being taught by someone something!

4.  We as men must be men of prayer.
We have to understand that through prayer several things will and must happen for us to successful as men.  Through prayer we must ask that the Word of God be opened to our understanding.   And that God’s holiness and power will descend upon us that the we can be the primary spiritual influence in our homes.

5.  We as men must also have a deep understanding of God’s Sovereign Grace.
We have to allow the promises of Christ to be so fully trusted that His peace, joy, and strength overflow our souls.  And that our understandings and motivations will be with the clear defined purpose that God is in control.  This has to undergird every aspect of our lives.

6.  We as men must also develop a plan for life ministry.
We have to understand that God is never done with us and expects us as believers to have a ministry.  We should remember that life is divided into chapters by age, singleness, marriage, employment, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc.  We must understand that not one chapter of life contains all of the joys or the sorrows.  And that what determines the success of these chapters, is did we find God’s will and live it for His glory?

Basically all of this boils down to the command that Christ gave us in Luke 10:27

27 And He answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, …” ESV

The reason that I titled this the “Rules of Engagement Make Men Cry” is because they do just that.  When we are young  and trying to figure all of this out the pain from failure and learning can cause tears.  It is not easy to maintain these rules or to put them into action, hence tears of pain, frustration, and complete and udder exhaustion.  But hopefully if executed properly and with God’s grace, there will be tears of joy as we see our sons, daughters, grandsons, and granddaughters seeking after Christ and trying to live this Godly legacy that they were taught.  And at the end, it will be tears of joy as we go home to see our Lord and to worship Him who preserved us  through life’s trials.

God Bless. TR

Rules of Engagement Make Men Cry pt.1

I have been almost obsessed with the movie Lone Survivor since I heard about it.  I have yet to see the movie and I know that probably sounds like a contradiction however I have watched and read nearly every YouTube clip, article, and blog about that particular Seal Team as well as the mission that I could find.

I have always had great respect for anyone who served this great country and would like to think that I have the mental fortitude to survive seal training or any other special forces training that I would enter into. Of course I know that is very easy to say now that I am too old to enlist and to heavy to run without passing out after a short distance.

But the one thing that I will say that I respect the most is the selflessness that those men seem to posses.  They are focused on the objective regardless of the hurdles, the opposition and the discomfort that it may cause them.  Now for those of you that know me you will know that the next sentence is a truthful and bare as I know how to be.  For the duration of this blog I am preaching at myself as much as I am crying out to my fellow husbands & dads.  I make this call to arms as the biggest sinner and failure of any of you.  But in that failure, pain, and sin God has blessed me with a passion to share with my fellow-men so that they can spare themselves and their families from the devastation and pain that my family and I have had to persevere through.

Now, by God’s Grace we have stood but it was not easy and the scars are permanent.  And I will forever cry out for men to adhere to God’s direction as deviations are far more costly than one might ever imagine.

And to that point I think that is the error of our ways as men.  We don’t imagine.  We don’t think. We don’t consider.  Well, that is true at least when it comes to our families spiritual well-being.  We did however absolutely consider and plan when we were boys and as even later as men the career path that we want to take, the kind of vehicle that we want to drive, the sport that we are going to be professional at.  As well as how we are going to have every type of (insert gadget, gun, or any other item here) we want when we have our own job and our own money.

And to be honest I think the sad thing is a lot of men never consider the necessity of planning their family life structure, their future stages of life, and the impact that they want to have on their wife and children.  This isn’t something that just occurs men it has to be intentional.  Children do not just turn out good it takes years of hard work and intentional time and focus.

So let me illustrate my point before I provide some of the challenges that I have received from God for my life and the future of the Harrison Clan and yes we are a clan in the full sense of the word but that is a blog for another day!

Men, answer these questions and then ask your spouse to answer them for you and see how close you get.  More than likely her answers are more on point and truthful to how life is than you want to hear.  Wives please don’t use this as a time to get your point or your agenda met.  Use this opportunity to fulfill your God designed role of a helper being gentle and loving in your responses.


Which could you answer first?
Question #1: What was Peyton Manning’s total number of touchdown this season?
Question #2:  What Book of the Bible is your wife currently reading from in her daily reading?
Question #3:  How many hours a week do you put toward your favorite hobby, activity, or self-improvement pursuit?
Question #4:  How many hours a month do you put towards reading scripture to your kids and wife to teach them the Word of God and His design, love, and hope for their life and for your family?

Now, again these questions are forms of ones that the Holy Spirit began to place on my heart as He moved me from one place in my walk to another.  So in the second part of this blog I will give you the actual Rules of Engagement as I see them for your family, your own walk and for the future of your Clan.